One
by load my soul
Summary: [Sequel to The Rain][Kyo's POV] So… this is fatherson bonding, huh? Trying to explain to your father why you, the monster, so unexpectedly showed up upon his door step, wanting to talk like you haven’t been estranged for over a decade.


I don't own Fruits Basket. (edit: added a horizontal rule and a line I accidentally left out.)

* * *

I've never before felt such a cold feeling rush over my body- it was like diving into the ocean… or taking a walk in the winter rains. 

And in such a strange sense, I feel ill.

Like someone is playing jump rope with my stomach.

My eyes stare ahead and a sudden realization hits me. **It's _his_ house**. I can only guess why my feet subconsciously took me here.

**_My subconscious mind wants closure, and my conscious mind is terrified._**

I suppose my foolish mind is cashing checks my weakened heart can't cash.

It's a scary feeling, a scary feeling that makes me want to vomit… and I almost do. Wait… isn't a sudden build up of stress is bad for the heart. It is… right?

Maybe I should do this tomorrow. I still remember our last visit. He called me a monster and he wanted me to rot in hell. It was a **lovely** chat.

Before I can tell my body to stop moving, I'm pressing the doorbell… and he's standing in the open door, his eyes wide. I inhale deeply and I, with all the courage I can muster, tell him that I want to talk.

So… this is father-son bonding, huh? Trying to explain to your father why you, the monster, so unexpectedly showed up upon his door step, wanting to talk like you haven't been estranged for over a decade.

I'm scared. I can't breathe. I don't think I've ever felt so vulnerable in my entire life… and yet, he allows me into his house.

What… what is he planning?

"What is it?" his voice… is so much different than I remember, his expression shades darker than normal, like he was talking to a… wait. He **is** talking to a demon. A monster. A creature from a place so much worse than Hell it would be a sin to even think of it. "Why did you come here?"

"I… want…" My courage! Where… where did it go?! "To… talk about…" Come on, out with it, you moron! "**mother**." His eyes narrow.

"And how you killed her? Or about how happy you are she's dead?" His words hit me… and I feel like I'm going to lose it.

"But… I **do** care. I… I didn't want her to die! I never wanted her to kill hers-"

"**You** killed her, you monster!"

"She killed **herself**! Suicide!" I know that I sounded desperate… but… I don't really care. "It was suicide to get away from a cursed child and a husband who **abandoned **her!" I notice his face contort from anger to a deranged grin… and in the pit of my stomach, I could feel myself wishing I'd never came here.

"**Abandoned her**?" his voice was booming, "I abandoned **you**! Who could **ever** love a child who turns into a… fucking demon?! I wish you were never born!"

"Well, I suppose that makes two of us." There was a pregnant pause between us… and I feel myself shaking lightly. "I… never asked… to be born this way."

"It's… your fault." Somehow, it seems like he's trying to convince himself.

"How…? How is it my fault that I was born? I'm thinking it was mostly **your** fault."

"Don't talk to me in such a manner, you shit head! Remember, I am your father!"

"You aren't my father! I deny that with **every ounce of my being!**"

"Then why the fuck are you here?" I'm terrified. Terrified. I think he notices… After a long pause, he stands. "You're… turning paler." His voice is calmer, I think he knows that I'm so nervous that I'm nauseous. "You should leave now… don't come back, either." I can't move… I want to die… but I can't help myself from asking him…

"What… was mother like? Before… I was born? Before my existence… drove her over the edge." He comes toward me slowly, his eyes are filling with an intense fear.

"What… was she like…?" he asks lightly. "Stop shaking, boy. I'm only going to tell you once…" I tried my best to quell my trembles and focused in on his words. "She was a gem, kid… she… loved life and… she pulled me out of the darkness that my father had plunged me into. She took me into her arms and cried for me. She gave me that sweet, sweet release that I'd been waiting for." He glares at me and I avert my gaze to the floor. "Then **you** came. Once they put you into her arms… she wasn't the same." He starts to scream. "She wasn't the woman I fell in love with! You… **you** _destroyed_ her! She was always worried about the damn cat and those damn beads and how fucking "**cute**" you were! **I**. **HAD**. **TO**. **LEAVE**!" And for a split second, he sounds like me. "It's not my fault! It's **not** my fault!!" I feel his hands beginning to come down on me… "**Leave**! **Leave** and **never** come back! God! Why couldn't you have died?!" I can't cry. No. I've done that once already… I can't give him the satisfaction again… So I run. I run for my life right out the door.

One. One thing destroyed my mother. Me. I destroyed her world… just my being alive killed her. A beautiful voice breaks me out of my thoughts…

Tohru.

"Ah… Kyo-kun! You look so pale!! Are you alright?" She gives me that look. The "_you're sick"_ look. For once… I think I won't sugarcoat it.

"I'm not sick, Tohru… but I'm not fine," I reply, "But no worries, okay? I'll sort this out on my own and…" I give a small smile. "I **will** be. I promise." She knows what I'm talking about… and she smiles back. And for a small second, I begin to feel bold… so I grab her hand and we begin to walk.

Yeah. With her… I'm sure I'll be just fine.

* * *

I needed to get that out. I had that sitting around for a while, unfinished. I finished it today… 

Hope you enjoyed… or something… xD


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